1.24.2013

So, I'm a coward

Took me ages to figure it out, but I'm pretty terrified of failing. So I don't usually try.

I tied every ounce I could into a name I adopted, made it another part of me, another life, so that when that person failed, it wasn't *me* who screwed up. It wasn't me who said something embaressing, who forgot (or never bothered) to respond to people even when he really cared about what they said, who threw his (human) idols up on a pedestal and forgot that they're people he could actually hold a conversation with, who made promises he couldn't keep and pretended to know things he didn't because he had to be that one step ahead of the curve in everyone else's mind.

Basically, I was a real douche. That's not spiritual. Hell, that's not even ethical. (And I admit, lately my grasp on what "ethical" is has slipped a bit.) So here's a bit of Magic you can see. I'm taking responsibility for my failures, and my successes, and everything in between. I'm a pagan, not a criminal. I'm not going to hide behind the name I've crafted, and the persona I've lived under for the last six years, because I'm too scared of admitting I've screwed up, I'm human and I'm being outpaced by people who're just more dedicated and confident.

Screw it. I'm living that lie. And now... now I'm not. Zeta is me. I am not Zeta.

My name is David Krone. Nice to meet you. I'll give you by best effort.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to the real world. Nice to meet you.

    ReplyDelete